The objective of this lesson: To encourage Christians to understand that if they are devoted to Jesus Christ and God they must exercise great care in what they say, the motives behind their statements, and the words they use.
Words get us in trouble frequently! James wrote in James 3:2, 6, "For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. . . And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell." Isaiah wrote in Isaiah 32:6, "For a fool speaks nonsense, and his heart inclines toward wickedness: To practice ungodliness and to speak error against the Lord, to keep the hungry person unsatisfied and to withhold drink from the thirsty." The writer of Proverbs wrote in 10:19, "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." In Matthew 12:34-37, Jesus said, "You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
Christians in general can be tempted and deceived more easily by what they say than by anything else. It is so easy to justify what we say! Nothing makes it more evident that each of us struggle with evil from within than the statements we make and the true motives we have in our hearts.
In the first century world, two dominating themes in speaking were sex and slander. Sexual activity even played a dominant role in some forms of idolatrous worship. For centuries people were concerned about fertility. Having children, especially sons, meant your name continued after you died. It also meant you had immediate family to care for you when you were old. In times of small populations, having your family continue after your death was quite important. In times of no societal safety nets [like social security], having a number of children was important. In fact, having lots of children helped in the needed family labor for survival! Since wealth was often measured in live stock, having fertile live stock was a key to prosperity. Since crops producing well protected your family from starvation, it was essential for what one planted to produce well! Fertility! Thus, the god or goddess who claimed to be a key to fertility was often respected and worshipped.
Fertility of everything--livestock, crops, families, nations--was an essential key to survival among people of all nations during ancient times. It was a world without convenient forms of preservation or mass production. It was a world in which quantity was important for survival [not merely prosperity, whether speaking of the number of children one had, the productivity of crops, or the size of the flocks and herds one had].
People also liked to meddle in other people's affairs [consider 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12; 1 Timothy 5:13; 1 Peter 4:15, 16]. With little or no privacy, it was simple to know about other's personal lives and affairs. In Roman society and its patronage system, it was profitable [literally] to have inside knowledge of "what is going on." Discrediting your competitor was financially advantageous!
It seems the desire to meddle in the affairs of other people and the desire to gossip are ageless desires that exist in every century in all societies. The less privacy there is, the more temptation there is to meddle and to gossip--"did you know," or "if you knew what I know." The concept of halls is fairly recent. Multiple rooms can be afforded even now by the prosperous.
In those two preoccupations, little has changed! Today, we live in a society saturated with sexual behavior. Forms of pornography from around the world prosper as they deliberately exploit people [both the used and the users]. Prostitution is an integral part of the "happening scene" in most societies. Sexual behavior for selfish pleasure and profit will always exist!
Sexual behavior is a "private" behavior unless privacy does not exist, or there are weakened or no values.
What commonly is acceptable in society might not be acceptable in the person who chooses to live in Christ.
For both personal entertainment and financial advantage, people still enjoy slandering and meddling in other people's affairs. This focus continues to be financially advantageous!
It is a too common perspective in the church that the way to achieve one's desired results is to either destroy a person's reputation or to make the person afraid to function in ways outside "my or our" imposed restrictions.
One aspect of life quickly influenced (1) by exploitative sexual behavior [regardless of foundation reasons] and (2) by involving oneself in other peoples' private affairs is words. Sex, slander, and meddling have vocabularies of their own, and those involved in any of the three learn, adopt, and yield to those vocabularies quickly.
A Christian can often give himself/herself a personal "wake up call" in regard to his/her attitudes and motives by honestly examining his/her words. Words often incite our behavior as well as reveal our hearts.
A part of conversion always is a reformation of personal speech both in words used and motives behind those words. The Christian abandons those vocabularies and the motives behind those vocabularies.
A key to changing behavior is changing words. Words reveal what is within the person. Words consistently change when the person changes internally.
In our text, the word translated "unwholesome" in the NAS and NIV literally means "rotten." It is also translated "corrupt" (KJV), "evil" (RSV), and "bad" (NEB). It does no injustice to the concept to paraphrase the injunction in this way: "do not use words that cause a life to decay or a person to be destroyed."
It was common for words in their societies to destroy. In Christ, words are used to encourage and uplift. Christians need to exercise great care in the way they use speech daily.
Please note the change in motives. Whereas they used [and perhaps continued to use] words that had destructive impacts, as Christians they would use words that encouraged, met needs, built up, and gave grace. Their words would extend undeserved kindness! That would include forgiveness when forgiveness was not sought! [Remember Romans 5:8-10?]
Christians seek to help others, not discourage others. They will be kind even in an unkind society. Instead of spreading anxiety, they give hope.
Note the 180 degree change in perspective (1) from what was commonplace in society and their lives prior to conversion (2) to what was characteristic of people in Christ who represented the Creator God after conversion. No longer did they speak of people as sexual objects to be exploited, but as persons to be valued. No longer did they demean others, but now they encouraged others. No longer did they selfishly use what they knew about others for personal benefit, but they focused on others' needs. Their goal: be a conduit of God's grace to others. It was a profound blessing to them, and they wanted others to experience that blessing.
In Christ, persons are people to be valued rather than objects to be used to achieve a desired end. People are persons of value to Christians because people are persons of value to God. Since God is a God of grace and mercy, Christians consciously seek to be a people of mercy and grace. They want to be God's people.
Note in the list of changed behaviors, there is a definite, deliberate migration from selfish considerations/behaviors to considerations/behaviors increasingly committed to the good of others based on others' needs rather than "my" selfish desires or ambitions. (1) Instead of deceiving my fellow believer in Christ, "I" see him as a part of "myself." (2) "I" let my anger pass quickly instead of allowing you to be the object of "my" wrath. (3) "I" do not steal from you to meet "my" needs. Instead, "I" work so "I" can help you with your needs. (4) "I" do not destroy you with "my" words. Instead, "I" encourage you and build you up with "my" words. "I" look at you as being more important than "me" (consider Paul's admonition in Philippians 2:1-4).
The migration in one's behavior from the selfish to the unselfish is the migration of conversion. Maturity in Christ is the change between a "me" focus to a "you" focus.
Paul urged Christians not to talk [use words] like people who were not in Christ used them. Christians will reflect God's rule in their words. Christians belong to a God of grace Who seeks to build up rather than to destroy.
A definite distinction between the person in Christ and the person out of Christ should be evident in the speech of the Christian.
Discussion Question:
State ways that understanding this admonition will affect our silence and our speech.
The focus of this discussion should be on two considerations: (1) the times when we as Christians should keep our mouths shut and (2) always being kind in our responses. Never assume we are like Jesus in our statements--he knew hearts and we do not!
Link to Student Guide
Lesson 9