Words get us in trouble frequently! James wrote in James 3:2, 6, "For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well ... And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell." Isaiah wrote in Isaiah 32:6, "For a fool speaks nonsense, and his heart inclines toward wickedness: To practice ungodliness and to speak error against the Lord, to keep the hungry person unsatisfied and to withhold drink from the thirsty." The writer of Proverbs wrote in 10:19, "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." In Matthew 12:34-37, Jesus said, "You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
In the first century world, two dominating themes in speaking were sex and slander. Sexual activity even played a dominant role in some forms of idolatrous worship. For centuries people were concerned about fertility. Having children, especially sons, meant your name continued after you died. It also meant you had immediate family to care for you when you were old. In times of small populations, having your family continue after your death was quite important. In times of no societal safety nets [like social security], having a number of children was important. In fact, having lots of children helped in the needed family labor for survival! Since wealth was often measured in live stock, having fertile live stock was a key to prosperity. Since crops producing well protected your family from starvation, it was essential for what one planted to produce well! Fertility! Thus, the god or goddess who claimed to be a key to fertility was often respected and worshipped.
People also liked to meddle in other people's affairs [consider 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12; 1 Timothy 5:13; 1 Peter 4:15, 16]. With little or no privacy, it was simple to know about other's personal lives and affairs. In Roman society and its patronage system, it was profitable [literally] to have inside knowledge of "what is going on." Discrediting your competitor was financially advantageous!
In those two preoccupations, little has changed! Today, we live in a society saturated with sexual behavior. Forms of pornography from around the world prosper as they deliberately exploit people [both the used and the users]. Prostitution is an integral part of the "happening scene" in most societies. Sexual behavior for selfish pleasure and profit will always exist!
For both personal entertainment and financial advantage, people still enjoy slandering and meddling in other people's affairs. This focus continues to be financially advantageous!
One aspect of life quickly influenced (1) by exploitative sexual behavior [regardless of foundation reasons] and (2) by involving oneself in other peoples' private affairs is words. Sex, slander, and meddling have vocabularies of their own, and those involved in any of the three learn, adopt, and yield to those vocabularies quickly.
A part of conversion always is a reformation of personal speech both in words used and motives behind those words. The Christian abandons those vocabularies and the motives behind those vocabularies.
In our text, the word translated "unwholesome" in the NAS and NIV literally means "rotten." It is also translated "corrupt" (KJV), "evil" (RSV), and "bad" (NEB). It does no injustice to the concept to paraphrase the injunction in this way: "do not use words that cause a life to decay or a person to be destroyed."
Please note the change in motives. Whereas they used [and perhaps continued to use] words that had destructive impacts, as Christians they would use words that encouraged, met needs, built up, and gave grace. Their words would extend undeserved kindness! That would include forgiveness when forgiveness was not sought! [Remember Romans 5:8-10?]
Note the 180 degree change in perspective (1) from what was commonplace in society and their lives prior to conversion (2) to what was characteristic of people in Christ who represented the Creator God after conversion. No longer did they speak of people as sexual objects to be exploited, but as persons to be valued. No longer did they demean others, but now they encouraged others. No longer did they selfishly use what they knew about others for personal benefit, but they focused on others' needs. Their goal: be a conduit of God's grace to others. It was a profound blessing to them, and they wanted others to experience that blessing.
Note in the list of changed behaviors, there is a definite, deliberate migration from selfish considerations/behaviors to considerations/behaviors increasingly committed to the good of others based on others' needs rather than "my" selfish desires or ambitions. (1) Instead of deceiving my fellow believer in Christ, "I" see him as a part of "myself." (2) "I" let my anger pass quickly instead of allowing you to be the object of "my" wrath. (3) "I" do not steal from you to meet "my" needs. Instead, "I" work so "I" can help you with your needs. (4) "I" do not destroy you with "my" words. Instead, "I" encourage you and build you up with "my" words. "I" look at you as being more important than "me" (consider Paul's admonition in Philippians 2:1-4).
Paul urged Christians not to talk [use words] like people who were not in Christ used them. Christians will reflect God's rule in their words. Christians belong to a God of grace Who seeks to build up rather than to destroy.
Discussion Question:
State ways that understanding this admonition will affect our silence and our speech.
Link to Teacher's Guide
Lesson 9